Up until about a little over a year ago, I really wanted to go back to Canada. I had a few good friends here who I knew I would miss, but my heart longed to be back home. Carl looked for jobs in and around Toronto, but nothing came up. And since he was employed and doing well, we stayed. It was frustrating, to just want to return home and not be able to.
Then we found St. Tim’s, and it was like a new life began for us here. We made so many wonderful friends and became embedded in the community. And most importantly, God re-entered our lives. It was pretty quick for me, it felt like a relief to return to His fold. In truth I had been questioning my beliefs for some time, and finding St. Tim’s was like finally admitting that I was ready to centre my life around Christ.
And then we didn’t want to return home. For the first time since we moved to California, we were truly happy here. We had finally begun to make a home for ourselves here. Of course, that’s when it hit the fan. At first I saw it as a bit of a cosmic joke, but I think I’m at peace with it now. For one thing, despite what and who I’m leaving behind here, I am happy to be going back to Canada. But more importantly, I feel that it’s God’s plan for us. I don’t know what He has in store for us back in Canada, but I can see the purpose of us staying here for so long when we wished to return. We were meant to find our way back to God, and we needed to be here to do that.
Leaving St. Tim’s in no way means leaving God behind. A good friend of mine said something in prayer the other night that really made me think. I don’t remember exactly what she said, but the idea was that when people leave St. Tim’s, they are not lost to the community, but rather are expanding the family of God by connecting with people elsewhere. I like this idea, and I hope that I can bring something to my new church home, wherever that may be.