Love, Love, Love!

Happy Valentine's Day!

As a Valentine's Day treat, Torontonians received a heap of snow. Yay! /sarcasm. It's actually still snowing, but the kids and I are snuggled up and cozy in our apartment. We're waiting for friends to come over for a play date, and I don't envy them the walk.

Hayley was so excited about going to school today for Valentine's Day. She came home with a paper bag full of valentines, and it really took me back. I remember taping paper bags to the sides of our desks, like little mailboxes. It was so exciting! My mom always made Valentine's Day special too, giving us chocolates or stuffed animals and cards. We gave the kids little boxes of chocolates and hand-made cards today. I made cards for the kids and had intended for them to be from both of us, but Hayley made it clear to Carl that she wanted him to make her a card himself. So there he was last night, drawing pictures for their cards. It was cute.

Valentine's Day can be a little sad for me too. In 1989, my poppa died right before Valentine's Day. I remember my mom giving us our little teddy bears early to help us feel better. Not that anything could have, but it was nice. We all knew we wouldn't really be celebrating it anyway. So I always think about that when Valentine's Day rolls around. It's been almost twenty years (how is that possible?!), but it still makes me a little sad.

This and That

I've been working on a scrapbook layout of the NDP convention I went to, but it's not going very well. It's just not speaking to me, so I put it away and I'll look at it again later. So, time to move on to a new page. I really need to get some new photos developed, though.

I found out that my first day of work is the 24th, as I suspected. We'll be doing store set-up and training. I think I'll only be working weekends until the store opens, and then hopefully I can pick up an evening shift or two during the week. I'm going to really enjoy this coming weekend, since it will probably be my last free one for a while.

I'm excited about this weekend for another reason too. My niece is going to be born on Saturday (or Sunday if it's a long labour)! Pam is being taken off the blood thinner and induced on Saturday. I'm so excited! I'm still not sure when we'll be able to get up north to see the baby, but it won't be too long. I want to wait until they're out of the hospital because the kids can't visit them there. Hayley and Carson are both excited about the baby.

Another NDP MPP at Queen's Park!

Paul Ferreira (NDP) is the new MPP of York South - Weston! I'm very excited because I went out and canvassed for him. This is not my riding, but it is in Toronto. It's actually the riding in which Carl grew up. The other two ridings in the byelection were held by their parties (one Liberal, one Conservative), but one more NDP MPP at Queen's Park is great news. Congratulations, Paul!

I'm Still Alive

I can't believe I haven't posted in over four months. I'll be surprised if anyone will read this.

So, it's been a year since we left California now, and I think I'm finally adjusted. I'm not loving the snow, but we haven't actually had it for that long. It wasn't until after Christmas that it actually turned cold. Global warming scares me. The kids love the snow. Carl and the kids went sliding with Carl's brothers Mark and Ryan, and our niece Gemma on Saturday. They had a great time. The faster they could get down the hill, the better. I hear that Uncle Ryan was pretty tired of trudging back up the hill because the kids always wanted to go with him. Hey, he's the one who wanted to be the favourite uncle!

I wasn't with them because I spent the weekend at the Ontario NDP (New Democratic Party) convention. I was a delegate for my riding, St. Paul's. It was really great to be there. I really felt like I was part of something. Howard Hampton, the leader of the provincial party, gave a really great speech on Saturday, revving everyone up. Jack Layton, leader of the federal party, wrapped the weekend up with his rousing speech. I'm glad I got to see them.

The most exciting thing right now is that I'll have a new niece in about a month! Poor Pam (my brother Greg's fiancee), she hasn't had an easy time of it. She's hospitalized right now with a blood clot in her leg, and though they're (finally) treating it, she's still in a lot of pain. Prayer and positive thoughts would be appreciated.

I've been really enjoying scrapbooking and card making. I made all my Christmas cards this year, which ended up being a bigger job than I planned. I was happy with the result, though. I've got two layouts posted here at Scraptivity, and I'll be uploading a couple more tomorrow. I find it really relaxing to just sit down and lose myself in creating a layout. It's not a cheap hobby, but it's worth it.

I don't know how much time I'll really have for scrapbooking once I start my new job, though. I will be working part time as a cashier at Shoppers Drug Mart. I'm not sure yet how many hours I'll have a week. Most likely both days on the weekend and an evening shift or two during the week. It's a new store and doesn't open until March 15, but I'll have a couple of training shifts before then.

Hopefully it won't take me another four months to update this. :)

Busy, busy, busy and getting busier

My baby girl is no longer a baby. She started junior kindergarten yesterday. She goes every morning. She had a great time yesterday and was excited to go back. Carl dropped her off this morning because it's raining and I didn't want to bring Carson out in it if I didn't have to. Carl called me right after he dropped her off and said it didn't go very well. She started crying as they walked up to the door. Up until then she was excited. I don't know. I hope she's calmed down now. Carson's not particularly happy either. He wants to go with her. Believe it or not, he goes next year.

I started school recently myself. I'm taking Grammar for Editors, the first course required to obtain an editing certificate from George Brown College. It's every Tuesday evening, and I'm enjoying it. Actually, the first week I was really perturbed. This course is going to be hard. But last night was good and it was just clicking. If I take one course at a time and take summers off, it should work out perfectly. I'll be doing my work placement in the fall of 2009, when Carson enters grade one and is in school all day.

Yesterday I signed Hayley up for swimming and Carson for a movement class we do together. Tomorrow I can sign Carson up for his swimming, and Hayley for ballet and martial arts. We are going to be busy. The price is right, though. They're all through the city, and the total for those five classes is $169! I'm also going to be taking a class at the church on Thursday nights called "Blockbuster Jesus", which sounds really interesting. Here's the summary:

The past decade has seen a number of bestsellers about Jesus, whose marketing has depended on their "controversial" quality - on the ways in which their authors are supposed to have challenged the Church's teaching about Jesus of Nazareth.

As part of the Theology Today series, Stephen Reynolds takes a look at John Dominic Crossan's Jesus: A Revolutionary Biography, Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code, and Tom Harpur's The Pagan Christ - and asks, "How credible are these challenges?"

So far Carl has nothing extracurricular, so we have to find something for him to do.

Warning: maudlin post ahead

Carson and I didn't make it to Church of the Redeemer last weekend because some idiot in the apartment building across the street was playing the drums on his balcony until all hours of the morning and I barely slept. So we all went as a family this weekend. It was great. There weren't very many kids there, but this is a long weekend in Canada (just because, sort of like a bank holiday in the U.K.) but there were a lot of young people (by this I mean our age) there. There was a woman with green hair, another with a tattoo on the back of her neck, a woman in the choir (vocal group?) was drinking a coffee, and we were appropriately dressed in our jeans. I thought "this is the place for me." ;) More importantly, they seem to have a healthy community and I really, really liked the sermon. The rector (they call him the incumbent - anyone care to explain the difference?) gave the sermon sans pulpit and sans notes. He made us laugh with a story about his daughter, and then related it to scripture. And yes, of course I was making comparisons, but he stood up pretty well, and that's saying something.

The music was good. They use a more modern hymn book, Gather, and we were lead by organ (not overbearing like the one at the other church that gave us headaches) and a guitar. The final hymn was African and everyone was really getting into it.

It's too early to know for sure, but I think this is it. Carl said I had that look in my eye, and he liked it too. So I was on a high when we left, but I haven't been able to sleep tonight (it's 5 a.m. now and I decided to do some laundry instead of tossing and turning) because I've been thinking about my old life. I just don't know how to get past this. It still hurts so badly. I mean, most of the time I am so glad to be here. I love Toronto, I really do. And our families and friends here too, of course. But sometimes I feel like I'm just having a really long dream and I'm going to wake up and be back in California. I know I haven't been great at communicating with my friends there, and I'm sorry. Getting behind on email is not intentional, but I think maybe it's a subconscious form of self-preservation. I miss you and think about you all the time. Too much. I have to move past this period of mourning. I'm still satisfied with my decision to not go to California in July, but now I'm wondering when, if ever, I'll get to go back. And that hurts.

Anyway. Sorry for being so... well, maudlin. Things always seem worse when you've had no sleep.

...and my heart broke

My baby girl had stitches put in her head last night. She fell headfirst into a metal bar in the hallway of our apartment building, and opened up a pretty nice gash on her forehead. She didn't even cry - she was more concerned about the fact that she couldn't go swimming (they were on their way to the pool). She did cry when her forehead was getting frozen, but who can blame her? I had my forehead frozen when I was 20 and I think I cried! Carl said she was very brave through the whole thing. What a little toughie.

We went to church on Sunday for the first time since we moved to our new place. It was first on our list to check out, and while we thought the sermon was pretty good, we were underwhelmed by the community. There was a lot of mumbling prayers and hymns, though the hymns were understandable as the pipe organ was so loud it was overpowering. Carl and I both had headaches by the time we left. Hayley enjoyed church school and Carson was fine in the nursery (though he was the only child in there). I did think their alert system for the nursery was good - it's a small screen in the church that flashes a number assigned to your child if you need to come pick him/her up. Anyway, this Sunday Carson and I will be checking out another church (Carl and Hayley are going camping with her uncles and her cousin). I hadn't looked at the website for this one before because it's not in our neighbourhood. Not that it's far at all - only five kilometres (three miles) - it's just that there are so many churches between here and there that I didn't think to look at it. And maybe that's part of the problem. There are too many parishes and not enough parishioners. Anyway, I have high hopes for this one. It's got me excited the same way I was when I found St. Tim's website. Check out their website and let me know what you think: Church of the Redeemer

Today is mine and Carl's 9th wedding anniversary! It's hard to believe it's been that long. We're not doing anything special to celebrate today because we considered our kidless vacation a week-long celebration and anniversary present to each other (and from my parents!)

Have to dash to Hayley's swimming lesson. Love and blessings,
Sherry

The Long Weekend

I'm supposed to be in California right now. I'm happy with my decision to donate the money to the walk instead of spending it on air fare, but I still wish I were there now, visiting the St. Tim's family. That being said, we've had a good weekend.

On Friday night, I went to see The Devil Wears Prada with my sister-in-law Christine. We both really liked it. My enjoyment was enhanced by the group of gay guys sitting next to us who let everyone in the theatre know how much they loved the movie. The guy sitting right next to me put it in the same class as Pretty Woman. Then we went to Cafe Crepe. Mmmmmm.

Saturday was a bit of a bust as I was feeling a bit under the weather. We had plans to go to a Canada Day celebration in Etobicoke (western part of Toronto) with the other half of our Godfamily (Brett, Lara & Anita,) but instead Carl took the kids to the local park where they played at the playground and in the splashpad. They had a good time.

Yesterday we went to Carl's parents' where the whole gang (minus our sister-in-law Natalie) was congregated. We hadn't seen Carl's brother Denis (the only one who doesn't live nearby) in a few months, so it was good to visit with him. Hopefully Natalie can come next time too.

Today was a holiday in lieu of Saturday, so we took a long walk up Mount Pleasant, across Eglinton and down Yonge (with a stop at Dairy Queen!) which was nice. The kids only got cranky at the end. Then we went down to Mark, Christine and Gemma's. Carl, Mark and the kids went to the park while Christine and I went to Scrapbooks by Design. Christine is initiating me into the world of scrapbooking. Carl (jokingly?) says she's a bad influence on me, but I think it's all good.

We've got a new camera on the way (our old one went kaput) and as soon as we have it I'll post some pictures on flickr for you to see. In the meantime, check out this picture that Christine posted in her flickr account: Three Princesses. Cinderella on the right is our neice Gemma.

Happy to be here

I'm not sure if anyone is actually still reading this, but I'll just keep blogging.

Things are going well here in Toronto, though we're still not entirely unpacked. I always forget how much work unpacking is. It's especially strange this time since most of the boxes were packed five months ago. Hard to believe it's been five months since we left California. When we were staying in Brampton, it was kind of like being on hold, so that period of time is kind of sketchy to me. Being in California feels like yesterday and eons ago, at the same time.

I do love living in Toronto. I forgot how much I love living in a big city (you may be thinking "Toronto, a big city?" But yes, it is. It's the fifth largest city in North America, after Mexico City, New York, L.A. and Chicago.) Last weekend, for example, we went to Pride. We were hoping to stay for the parade, but Carson got a little too moody. We had fun at Family Pride, though.

World cup fever has taken over this city, and there have been a few cultural clashes. Nothing horrible, though. So far. I hope it doesn't get to that. Carl and I are cheering for England.

We haven't been to church since we moved (for various reasons) but we hope to go on Sunday. We are going to check out Christ Church Deer Park first. It is not necessarily the closest, but it may be the easiest to get to as it is one subway stop away, and it looks like it has a good children's ministry.

I'm looking forward to the long weekend (Canada Day is on Saturday so Monday is a holiday). Then four days of work and Carl will be off for a week of vacation. That's when we'll be bringing Hayley and Carson to my mom and dad's and I couldn't be more excited. We are going to see Lord of the Rings (the play) on the Wednesday, and on Thursday we're having dinner at North 44)º (as part of Summerlicious, an annual event in which a number of Toronto restaurants offer a prix fixe option on their menu at a great price. North 44)º is generally pretty expensive, but their Summerlicious menu is $35 for three courses.) Other than that we're playing it by ear. We don't want to have too many things scheduled.

I still miss everyone in California so much that it hurts to think about, but I can honestly say that I am happy here now.

Home Sweet Home

I am typing this from my very own apartment. Well, okay, I have to share it with Carl and Hayley and Carson, but you know what I mean. I am out of the in-laws' house and once again have my own space. Or will once we get all the boxes sorted and unpacked. That's nothing, though, we've moved a million times and I'm used to it.

The kids are settling in well. Hayley has been excited to move for quite a while now, and was positively giddy today. They delved into all the toys that they haven't seen in four months. Now they are sleeping in their new bunk beds. Hayley has also been excited about sleeping on the top bunk, but we were a little concerned that she would be afraid to when the time actually came. She's been fine, though, climbing up and down the ladder with ease. Carson actually asked to go to bed tonight, and looks very comfortable in his bottom bunk.

And now I think I'll crawl into my bunk. It's been a long day and Carl and I are due for some z's.

Good Stuff

Happy Birthday to me! I am 31 today, and feeling good. I asked for stamping stuff (from Stampin' Up) and that's what I got! My friend Lara and her baby Anita are coming over for lunch, and Carl is taking me out for dinner tonight.

Speaking of Lara and Anita, I celebrated Mother's Day by becoming a Godmother! I feel so blessed and honoured. Anita did so well, she was her usual smiley self as the minister doused her with Holy water and carried her down the aisle to introduce our new sister. Her parents were very proud, and so were her Godparents. Since Anita's parents (Brett & Lara) are Hayley and Carson's Godparents and Carl and I are Anita's Godparents, we're all just one big Godfamily now. :)

Carl and I are looking forward to a week in July. When I told my mom that I wasn't doing the walk, she told me that she and my dad would still take the kids for a week (though it's now the next week so that my dad will be home the whole time). So Carl booked the week off and we're actually going to have some time to ourselves! How great is that?! It's going to be amazing to have the apartment to ourselves. I don't think we're going to go away, except maybe for a couple of day trips outside the city. Otherwise there's lots to do in Toronto. Why spend money on a hotel when we've got the apartment to ourselves?

We got our car back on the weekend, so yay! Of course we can't drive it yet. We have to register it with the Registrar of Imported Vehicles, then we have to have changes made to the car (like the odometer switched from miles to kilometers), and then we can register it with MTO (think DMV) and insure it. But at least it's here.

Meanwhile, June 3rd can't come quickly enough - moving day!

Hi from Northern Ontario

The kids and I are up at my mom and dad's house now. They live about six hours north of Toronto. We're going back down south on the weekend. It's really nice to be here, visiting my mom and my brother (my dad is at work, he'll be home on Thursday), and getting to know my brother's girlfriend Pam. She's really nice and the kids adore her. Especially Hayley. Carl is working, as is usually the case when I'm visiting here. Once we get our car (no, we still don't have it - I hate red tape) and are settled in to our apartment, we can make weekend trips so that Carl can spend some time up here too.

I've decided that I'm not doing the Avon Walk. I really started thinking about the cost of travelling to California, and decided that I would rather donate that money to the walk. I'd rather give my money to the Avon Foundation and have it be used to beat breast cancer than give it to Air Canada. I'm sad that I won't get to go to California, but this just makes more sense to me. I e-mailed my donors for feedback before I made the decision, and everyone was very supportive.

Not much else new. Just waiting, waiting, waiting for June to roll around.

Sick of being sick!

I've been sick for almost 2 weeks. I got what I think was the flu on the Saturday of Easter weekend and spent the next few days in bed. I was feeling a lot better by the end of that week, but the cold part still hung on and then last weekend my ears got infected and I spent a lot of last weekend in bed as well. This week it's been a lot of coughing and trying to get my ears back in shape, and just being really really worn out. I'm sooooo ready to be better.

I'm very concerned about the Avon Walk. I haven't been able to go out walking while I've been sick (I wouldn't get very far with the energy I've had) and I admit that the training wasn't exactly going well before I got sick either. I only have two months left, and I'm worried that I'm not going to be able to do the mileage. The good news is that I've raised the minimum amount of money required to participate, so that's no longer a concern.

Mixed Emotions

I read Sara's news today, and I'm so happy for her and Dennis that it made me sad, if that makes any sense at all. I'm sad that I'm not there to see the baby that's sure to snatch this year's Baby Jesus role at St. Tim's, and to see SJ's baby, and Shana's... not to mention all the kids who are already around, and of course, their parents. It just gave me a renewed sense of longing for all the people I left behind in Mountain View. And yet I'm excited to be starting our new life here. Maybe when we get moved in to our new apartment, my heart won't be so divided.

I am really happy that I get to watch our little Anita grow. She is the daughter of Hayley and Carson's Godparents, she's six months old, and she is so cute and sweet and smiley, and I could just eat her up. She has cheeks to die for, much like my little Hayleykins. And I'm happy to be able to see our niece Gemma grow up, and have Hayley and Carson be able to play with her. We've been seeing her almost every week, sometimes twice a week, and she and Hayley adore each other.

I'm also falling back in love with Toronto. It really is a very cool city, and I'm happy we're going to be living there. I got used to suburbia and thought that was what I wanted when we got back here, but found myself craving the feeling of being in the centre of 'it all' and I'm glad we're going to live where we are.

Woo hoo!

We found a place to live! It's a two bedroom apartment (I know, I know, but three bedrooms are hard to come by (or out of our price range) in areas you'd actually want to live) in Toronto, and it's a three minute walk from Carl's office. It's at Yonge & Davisville (map), in midtown Toronto (neighbourhood description). The school the kids will be attending is right across the street, and doubles as a school for the deaf. Because of that, they teach ALL the kids sign language, so that they can all communicate together. I'm so in love with that idea! It seems like a great school all around. There's a park right there, and we're right on the subway line. There are walking trails nearby. Recreation in central Toronto is waaaay cheap, so I'm excited about that. Ballet for Hayley will be $26 for 9 weeks! We move in on June 1, and we're very excited.

We got a car loan here and it's in the process of being transferred from our credit union in California (Technology Credit Union, which I would highly recommend to anyone). Then we can go get it from Michigan and finally have our own wheels again. Things are really coming together.

There are a few different churches in the area, but this is the one I'd like to check out first: Christ Church Deer Park, mainly because it seems like it has a good children's ministry.

And now? More waiting. At least it's better to wait for something we know is coming. :)

Carl and I had money stolen from our bank account. They took $180 from our chequing last night, and $500 from our savings this morning. We figure we must have had someone double-swipe one of our debit cards. We'll get the money back, but it's been a pain in the ass. The credit union told us we had to file a police report and get a letter notorized, saying that we didn't withdraw the money. We went to one police station, and the guy there didn't even get up to talk to us, and was no help at all. Then we went to police headquarters, where they did help us. But they said that the bank should be doing their own investigation, and that we didn't have to file a report. So then we went and got our letter notorized, which cost $40, and brought it to the bank. We basically spent the day running around because of it, but I'm just glad that Carl didn't start work today as planned (he starts tomorrow). As his mom said, there was a reason his start date got deferred.

Even though we're getting the money back, I feel violated. And that sucks.

Thank God

Carl got a job! Beginning on the 17th, he will be the Operations Manager at Quartet Services, an IT outsourcing firm in Toronto. He really likes the company and the people he interviewed with, and he thinks this will be a good fit. We're very excited, and very relieved. Now we can start to set other things in motion.

::happy sigh::

No, I haven't forgotten about this blog. I've just been feeling a little down and didn't really feel like subjecting anyone to more complaining. Anyway, things are beginning to look up. Carl was contacted by three recruiters last week about three different jobs. He's been contacted by recruiters before, but these ones actually wanted to meet with him before they decided to put him forward for the job, which tells me that they're better recruiters. He met with one on Thursday, one on Friday, and is meeting with another on Monday. The ones he has already met with are putting him forward, so that's great. Even if nothing comes of these jobs, it's great to have some interest.

Carl's brother Denis and his wife Natalie are coming into town today and we're excited to see them. They live a few hours away, so we haven't seen them yet. Everyone will be here tomorrow afternoon, and it's been pretty rare to have us all in one place. I guess it'll be more common now that we all live in the same province.

We've been watching a lot of the Olymics in the last couple of weeks. Despite the pitiful showing from our men's hockey team, Canada has done really well. With 20 medals, we've got the most we've ever had. Highlights for me were watching Jennifer Heil win the gold in moguls on the first day of competition, Duff Gibson and Jeff Pain winning gold and silver in skeleton, the men and the women winning silver in the speed skating team pursuit, Brad Gushue getting very emotional after winning the gold medal in curling, and most of all, the women's hockey team's gold winning game against Sweden. As for the men's hockey team, this will be a kick in the ass to the organization, which is good because it's important that they don't play that way in 2010 in Vancouver. Gotta be good on home turf. The feeling of pride I've had during these games has reminded me that though I loved living in California and miss it terribly, I could never become an American. I've got maple running through my veins.

Carl finally heard back from the company he's been interviewing with, and they decided to go with the other guy. So. I'm trying really hard not to despair.

I've decided to stop looking for an apartment. It's just stressing me out and there's nothing we can do about it right now anyway. Until Carl finds a job, we can't put in an application anywhere, and there are just so many variables. This comes from looking at an apartment in Port Credit (yes Joanna, Port Credit!) that we thought was in our price range and then found out that their advertized price was lower than the particular apartment that is available. Not that we could even take it right now, we just wanted to see it. It was okay, but pretty small for the price. Yes, Port Credit is desirable (right on Lake Ontario, little shops and cafes, small townish in the city, and very me) but I don't want my kids to live in a tiny space just to be there. Carl and I did that in the Beach but it's different with kids. There's a much bigger and nicer apartment right near Square One (also desirable) for the same money. The kicker is, we have no idea how much money we can actually afford to pay for an apartment, and won't until Carl gets a job. We're just estimating right now, and it's frustrating and somewhat futile. So I'm going to stop obsessing about it. I'm putting away the Renter's News. Now I just have to find something else to occupy my time and slight OCD. Maybe finding a church.

I was reading Julie's blog and thinking about why I haven't gone to church here yet. I started doing research as soon as we knew we were coming back, and yet haven't gone. There are a few reasons - no car available on Sunday mornings, not knowing where we're going to live - but I think the biggest reason is that I'm kind of scared. Scared of comparisons to St. Tim's, scared of being the new person again, scared of getting attached. I mean, we're pretty sure we're going to be somewhere around here, so we could at least check a few out. There's got to be a way around the car situation. I don't know.

The idea of church shopping is very weird to me. Choices were non-existant where I grew up - one church per denomination per town, and some towns shared ministers. We lived in a three-point charge, where the minister preached in three different towns every Sunday. Then we weren't looking when we found St. Tim's, it kind of found us. So deciding on a church is strange. But I do believe that we have to find one that fits us, or that we fit into.

I don't think I mentioned that I went back on the anti-depressants, shortly after my last post about it. I was just all over the map, and frightened my family. I don't think any of them (except Carl) realized how much I really needed them before. I feel much better now. It's funny, though. I couldn't have my prescription from California tranferred here, so I got Carl to pick it up for me at a Walgreens when he returned the rental truck to Niagara Falls, NY. You don't see many Canadians crossing the border for prescriptions, it's usually the other way around.

Okay, enough purging for now. I bet none of you knew how neurotic I was, did you?